Hey, I'm Ahmad, your friendly neighborhood مچھلی (fish). Glub glub.

I like collecting things, and most of this website is just a bunch of collectibles, lists, and interesting things I found on the web. I have a blog-like thing where I write occasionally, and I do sometimes put some essays or stories that I feel are good enough for sharing. Other than that, this website is just an experimental dump for me. Everything is random and nothing is properly organized.

Just a small disclaimer: I have a habit of frequently changing the fonts, colors, and sometimes the entire design of this site. So it might look completely different the next time you visit.

Where I'm from or !لہور لہور ﺍﮰ

Lahore is named after it's famous French prostitutes, which you can find if you are willing to go to shady areas at night with friends you really shouldn't be friends with.

The city is old, but a lot of people don't realize how old it is. It's ancient. So ancient in fact that the Iranian polymath, Al-Biruni mentioned it in his 11th century book, Qanun al-Mulk. He called it Luhaawar. In fact, the first document that mentions Lahore by name is the Hudud al-'Alam ("The Regions of the World"), written in 982 CE. In it Lahore is mentioned as a town which had impressive temples, large markets and huge orchards.

Here some old paintings of old Lahore, painted by the American painter Edwin Lord (1849 - 1903) that show those impressive temples and large markets.

We don't have all this stuff anymore because of globalization. Now the city looks like a giant billboard wherever you go.

But we still have some really cool and unique stuff that you won't find anywhere else. For example, our mascot: Maryam Nawaz. Those billboards I mentioned earlier? You'll find her face on almost every single one of them. She is not just a politician but a symbol of feminism in Pakistan. She is a role model for women so they can get rhinoplasty and fillers, and look as pretty as her. Truly inspirational.

We also have the Zam-Zamah, an 18th century cannon built by Shah Nazir, with copper and bronze, which we will use to shoot down Indian drones.

طلبیدم از عقل سال تاریخش

عقل از وحشت بگفتا ار دهی جان، سرّ آن بگشایم

تن دادم و بگفتا با اشاره

چه توپی! اژدهای آتش‌افشان عظیمی است

From reason I enquire of the year of its manufacture;

Struck with terror it replied,

"Wert thou willing to surrender thine life,

I would unfold unto thee the secret."

I agreed, and it said, laden with innuendo:

"What a cannon! 'Tis a mighty fire dispensing dragon (Azdaha)!"

Fun fact: Using the Abjad system (where each Persian letter represents a numerical value), calculating the letters of the final phrase چه توپی! اژدهای آتش‌افشان عظیمی است yields exactly 1169, corresponding to the Islamic Hijri year 1169 (1755–1756 AD), marking the exact date its casting began.

I don't think there is much else to say about Lahore. If you want other interesting things then you can check out the rest of the site. Click the link below to be spawned back to the starting point.

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